Stations of the Cross: Mental Illness in the Time of COVID-19

Never before have my Maundy Thursday preparations included turning my kitchen into a makeshift recording studio. It was a somewhat surreal experience putting this together - usually when I talk about my work it’s in conversation with folks, in person where I can meet people’s eyes and feel the Spirit’s presence in the room.

I didn’t feel too much of the Holy Spirit at midnight last night when I kept tripping over my words and finding typos during my first Zoom meditation. I felt at the end of my rope. When I finished in the early hours of the morning, I was exhausted -- that type of exhaustion you feel when your body says “enough” but your brain has other plans for you so you just lay in bed and wait for the sun to come up.

This is a Maundy Thursday unlike any other, yet the themes of vulnerability and community are as vivid and as enduring as ever. My Facebook and Instagram feeds are full of laypeople and clergy sharing themselves and witnessing to Christ’s work in our world. It is a vulnerable thing to share in this work together.

While I’m not putting my feet into your hands this evening, I am sharing a part of my heart.

Join me in praying for all folks struggling with mental health in this time of COVID-19.

Louisiana Heartsick

I’m not from Louisiana, I’m just a Louisiana partisan who happened to grow up in coastal Texas. Both of my parents are from Baton Rouge and moved back to their hometown almost ten years ago. Growing up, my brother and I spent a big chunk of our school breaks and holidays in Louisiana with family. I was blessed with a childhood filled with crawfish boils, tall tales (and dirty jokes) from Cajun relatives, and lots and lots of trips to New Orleans.

Louisiana has a big piece of my heart. Which means I’m heartsick a lot of the time.

Louisiana is the bellwether of the nation when it comes to disasters both natural and unnatural.

The state loses landmass the size of Manhattan every year to coastal erosion, the result of the logging and oil and gas industries. The loss of barrier islands, cypress marshes, and swamps makes Louisiana more vulnerable to the increasingly powerful hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico.

The state also ranks second in the country in toxic chemical release and cancer rates. The impact of the petrochemical and oil and gas industries isn’t just environmental, but human as well. “Cancer Alley” is what Louisianians call the 85 mile stretch along the Mississippi River from Baton Rouge to New Orleans. 

Over the years, I’ve made a lot of artwork about Louisiana. Two of my Stations of the Cross series have artworks illustrating some of the social injustices experienced by residents of the state. My Stations of the Cross: Climate Change series focused on one particular aspect of climate change: the biodiversity crisis. My first station in that series addressed the impact of factory farming on the environment. That impact is most evident in the tributaries of the Mississippi River where nitrogen-rich fertilizer seeps into its waters. When the resulting nitrogen run-off reaches the Gulf of Mexico, it cuts off the oxygen needed to sustain ocean life, creating a “dead zone,” a region that cannot support life. The Mississippi and its tributaries form the central design of this station, combined with drawings of the algae build-up that results from nitrogen.

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I started the series with a station about Louisiana because it was my way of naming my own social location. I started with Louisiana because it’s where a big piece of my heart is. And when it came time for another Stations of the Cross series about a global justice issue, I again began with Louisiana.

This year’s project, Stations of the Cross: Refugee Journeys, is an exploration of human movement all over the world. Each of the fourteen stations in this year’s series explores the movement of people from one place to another. It begins with the Biloxi-Chitimacha-Choctaw Tribe in Isle de Jean Charles. The tribe is quickly losing their island home in south Louisiana due to coastal erosion and the resulting rising waters. Oil and gas production in south Louisiana has irreparably damaged Indigenous land. Some tribe members remain on the shrinking barrier island, while others have moved inland. Efforts to work with the state government to acquire land near Houma fell apart disastrously. The New York Times have called the tribe the first American climate refugees. The tribe was also the inspiration for the bayou community in Beasts of the Southern Wild.

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The coronavirus death toll in Louisiana is mounting. With the high rates of cancer and the toxic impact of the petrochemical and oil and gas industries on people’s health, many Louisianaians  have underlying issues which make them more vulnerable to the coronavirus. It has also become clear that asymptomatic carriers of the virus were among the more than one million people who attended Mardi Gras in New Orleans. There are almost fifteen thousand cases in the state with more than 500 deaths so far. 

Will you be with me in prayer for healthcare workers in Louisiana?

God of earth and air, water and fire, height and depth, we pray for those who work in danger, who rush in to bring hope and help and comfort when others flee to safety, whose mission is to seek and save, serve and protect, and whose presence embodies the protection of the Good Shepherd.

Give them caution and concern for one another, so that is safety they may do what must be done, under your watchful eye. Support them in their courage and dedication that they may continue to save lives, ease pain, and mend the torn fabric of lives and social order; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

From Evangelical Lutheran Worship

A Palm Sunday Second Line

The jazz trumpeter William Pajaud loved to tell people, “I’d rather play a funeral than eat a turkey dinner.” Pajaud was a trumpeter with the Eureka Brass Band, one of the most iconic bands during the golden age of New Orleans jazz. His specialities were the booming, mournful dirges played on the way to the cemetery. 

In New Orleans jazz funerals, it’s only on the way to the cemetery that sad music is played. On the way home, after the body has been “cut loose,” there’s a joyful parade with people dancing in the streets behind the brass bands and musicians. The exuberant dancers, belting out Just a Little While to Stay Here and When the Saints Go Marchin’ In, make up the Second Line. There are few experiences more life-affirming than being part of a Second Line.

The Second Line has its origins in West African culture and follows a history of dance that began in Congo Square where slaves gathered in secret to dance in what is now the Treme neighborhood of New Orleans. During the Jim Crow-era, Black New Orleanians were denied life insurance by white-owned companies and formed “Social Aid and Pleasure Clubs” to meet the needs of their communities. These benevolent societies offered assistance through illness, support to family members, and funds for burial. They also organized musicians like William Pajaud and the Eureka Brass Band to play at the funeral and their society members would come out in force to form the Second Line on the way home from the cemetery.

The death this week of jazz patriarch Ellis Louis Marsalis from COVID-19 complications brought home to me the reality of the surreality of the last few weeks. Coronavirus is killing residents of New Orleans at a higher rate than anywhere else in the country now, with a death rate of 4.5 per 100,000 residents. New York City’s is 3.2. 

Little has shaken me more than the sight of quiet streets in New Orleans the evening after the announcement of Marsalis’ death. This is what Treme looked like last summer the day after Dr. John died. Around the one minute mark is when the crowd sings I’ll Fly Away, another Second Line classic. 

The streets of New Orleans should be filled with a joyous, raucous celebration of a larger-than-life musician. Their emptiness is an affront to our grief. I’ve been privileged to experience a few Second Lines in my life and each time I think of the woman of valor in Proverbs 31:

Strength and dignity are her clothing

and she laughs at the time to come

In a Second Line, a community joins together in joyful brass harmony to laugh at the time to come. 

Today is Palm Sunday, when Christians remember the story of Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem:

As Jesus was now approaching the path down the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the deeds of power they had seen, saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest heaven!” Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, “Teacher order your disciples to stop.” He answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out.” (Luke 19: 37-40, NRSV)

The closer to Jerusalem, the closer Jesus journeys toward his death. There is profound and primal sorrow in this journey toward the city walls. There is joy and laughter, too. Jesus knows what is to come, the disciples have been warned, but jubilation overtakes them and they cry out, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!” 

Christians begin our journey into Holy Week with a Second Line. 

The Second Line is rooted in resistance to white supremacy, just as Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem is an act of resistance to the Roman Empire. Christians hold out palms and Second Liners hold up umbrellas. The ethnomusicologist Joachim Berendt in his study of New Orleans jazz wrote, “One of the most popular accessories of the true “second liner” is an umbrella… They are the symbol of a little sky, under whose friendly container there is safety and security. Outside this ‘sky’ lies the hostile white world.”

On this Palm Sunday, I find myself looking for such umbrellas, for the things that bring joy in the midst of fear, that hold up a little sky for each of us as the world crashes down. Icons are like that for me. When I can’t find words for my grief, I draw. I’m sharing here the beginning of an icon of Ellis Louis Marsalis, Jr. There are umbrellas and palms and scenes from Second Lines surrounding the Patriarch of New Orleans Jazz. I invite you to color it with me in the sure and certain hope of a Second Line to come. We will be with each other again soon, dancing through the streets in sorrow and celebration. In the meantime, we search for new umbrellas and we hold the sky up for each other.


An Icon in honor of Ellis Louis Marsalis, Jr.

An Icon in honor of Ellis Louis Marsalis, Jr.

A Place at the Table

A Place at the Table

Sunday, September 1 at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, Clifton Heights, PA

Good morning!

I’m so happy to be here with all of you this morning. My name is Mary Button and I’m a student at United Lutheran Seminary here in Philadelphia where I’m in my last year of coursework. I’m so very thankful for the opportunity to be with you this Sunday. Pastor Ness reached out to me around a month ago about preaching and when I saw our Scripture readings for this morning I was thrilled because our passage from Hebrews has been deeply important to my own spiritual journey. 

Preparing to be with you this morning has been an opportunity for me to reflect on one of the most formative summers of my life, the summer of 2011when I first began working with incarcerated women. I had just finished a Master of Theological Studies and I was hired to be a member of the summer faculty in a prison theology program at Lee Arrendale State Prison for Women in Alto, Georgia -- a rural town about an hour-and-a-half from Atlanta. It’s an incredible program in which incarcerated students are able to take any number of courses designed and taught by graduate students and professors from a consortium of seminaries in Atlanta, including the Candler School of Theology at Emory University where I had just finished my studies. 

The prison theology program is a two year commitment for students, it’s still in existence almost a decade later. It has many of the same course requirements that seminaries have, students take a balance of coursework in systematics,  pastoral theology, Biblical studies, homiletics, and more. The class that I taught was on liturgical art, a particular area of interest for me, which meant that my class was less papers and systematics and more finger-painting and poetry.

In Georgia -- and many other states -- inmates can only take continuing education or vocational classes while in prison if they’re within a certain number of years before their release. This means that people facing life sentences without the possibility of parole are often unable to access the already limited opportunities for education while in prison. Because the prison theology program is part of the ministry of the chaplain’s office those rules didn’t apply to us. Which meant that many of my students were women serving life sentences, women who were considered the highest of security risks in a high security state prison that has a reputation as a place of incredible violence. 

Entering Lee Arrendale on that first day was a somewhat terrifying experience. The prison campus itself looks enough like a depressed, grey and aging, military school for wayward teenagers to not be all that menacing. Except for all of the razor wire. Everywhere. Before the prison dormitories are even in sight, there is razor wire. Razor wire and heavy chain-link fences around every building. Guards are everywhere and inmates are marched from one building to another with their heads down. Entering the prison for the first time was an anxiety-producing experience to say the least.

But whatever ideas I might have had about who my students were evaporated the second they walked into our shared classroom. In spite of the very rigid rules laid out by the Department of Corrections that stipulate that there must not be physical contact between teachers and inmates, one after another of my students hugged me by way of greeting and thanked me for teaching the class. With each embrace, I was forced to confront preconceived ideas about my students that I had been unwilling to admit to myself. In spite of the fact that I started my work at the prison, convinced of the structural injustices of the justice system, I had not yet fully accepted my students for who they are: my siblings, bound to me in the kinship of the family of Christ.

My experiences teaching at Lee Arrendale and, later, in the Shelby County jail system in Memphis, TN made our reading in Hebrews a mandate on my life: 

Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them; those who are being tortured, as though you yourselves were being tortured.  Heb 13:1-3

What Hebrews implore us to do -- to visit the incarcerated -- is something that transforms the life of our communities. It expands our understanding of God’s presence in the world because to visit the imprisoned is to be reminded that just as nothing can separate us as individuals from the love of God in Christ, nothing -- not even the highest razor wire -- can separate anyone else from the love of God in Christ. We are bound to one another by Christ’s love for us. We are loved by Christ and the people we find the least loveable are just as beloved.

At the time the Letter to the Hebrews was written, the realities and attendant fears of imprisonment were immediate in the community and great importance was placed on visiting the imprisoned. Prisoners of the Roman Empire often died of starvation, relying as they did on food being brought to them by outsiders. In his Baptismal Instructions, the early church father John Chrysostom characterized the Christian practice of visiting the imprisoned as one of the ‘sweetest tasks’ of Christian devotion. Chrystotom laid out his instructions for visiting the imprisoned in a text titled Baptismal Instructions because for him, and for the early church, caring for people in prison was a part of our baptismal covenant, a covenant that reminds us that in the waters of baptism we are each of us claimed by Christ just as we are, wherever we are.

 And Chrystotom is clear that Christians must not visit only fellow Christians, but also ‘murderers, and grave-robbers, and purse snatchers, and adulterers, and libertines, and men weighed down by many crimes.’ Expounding on this directive, he writes, “For we have not been bidden to show mercy to the good, and to punish the wicked, but to show this kindness to all.”

Today, Christian communities concerned with the growing number of Americans imprisoned in county jails, and state and federal prisons and detention centers live in a state of paradox: the fear of incarceration and detention is immediate in many of these communities, yet there is a clear and palpable disconnect with the realities of the day to day lives of the incarcerated. The American prison system is a world unto itself, deliberately and intentionally designed to strip its inhabitants of their humanity by removing them from what my former students call “free world.”

During my summer teaching at Lee Arrendale, I was allowed glimpses into what the daily realities of life in prison are for many women. To a person, each of my students experienced violence during their incarceration. For my students who are parents, separation from their children devastated them and their families on the outside, where their children are more likely to face incarceration and experience violence themselves. 

My classroom in the vocational building at Lee Arrendale was across the hall from where one of the parenting classes was taught. In the mornings as I prepared my lessons, laying out paints and brushes, markers and construction paper, I heard the chaplain lead classes for new moms. Women who had given birth in jail awaiting trial, or after arriving at Lee Arrendale. I taught Friday mornings and Saturdays were often visitation days at the prison. I’ll never forget one morning as I was carefully laying out my bright and colorful supplies, planning in my head what I hoped would be an afternoon of art-making that could take my students away -- for just a few hours -- from the grimness of life inside an American prison.

As I did all of this, I could hear -- even as I willed my ears to stop listening -- the lesson being taught across the hall by the chaplain in the parenting class: “It’s difficult,” she said, “But, you must prepare yourself, those of you with babies. Prepare yourself for the chance that your baby won’t recognize you tomorrow. Your baby might not want to be held by you. They might cry for the person who holds them in your absence.”

Then there was a shuffle and an angry shout and a woman in her prison jumpsuit running out of the parenting class with hot tears pouring down her face. Those tears, of a frantic and scared young mother separated from her baby, humbled me that morning. They taught me something about the type of humility that Jesus preaches about in our story from Luke. It’s a humility that reminds us that we are, each and every one of us, beloved by God and that the love we have for each other, binds us to one another as much as it binds us to God, whose love follows us even behind prison bars.

It’s not a humility that says, “let me humble myself so that I can get what I want -- that place of honor at the banquet table,” but rather the humility that teaches us that the banquet table is big enough for all of us. It’s so big, in fact, that there’s room for each and every one of us in all of our trauma and our triumph. Room enough for our feelings, even the ones we want to run away from. Room enough for our resentments, room enough for our relationships, even the broken ones. God claims each and every one of us and invites us to a table where there is room for all people because the force of God’s abounding grace makes room for all people. Even you. Even me.